


When the Photo Flashes Burst

by Skitz_phenom



Category: Blood-Smoke Series - Tanya Huff
Genre: Coming Out, Established Relationship, Homophobic Language, M/M, Post-Canon, Tony's Shitty Past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 01:34:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21839260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skitz_phenom/pseuds/Skitz_phenom
Summary: Lee receives some exciting news and makes a decision that could impact Tony and their relationship. Tony's not expecting where he ends up when all is said and done.
Relationships: Tony Foster/Lee Nicholas
Comments: 28
Kudos: 48
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	1. When the Photo Flashes Burst

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChibiSquirt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibiSquirt/gifts).



> In a lovely bit of fortuitousness, your prompts for this fandom were something I've been wanting to explore for a long time! So, I'm grateful for the opportunity and I only hope I did the idea justice and gave you something that makes you smile! Happy Yuletide!!
> 
> NOTE: Chapter 1 is a standalone fic. Chapter 2 and Chapter 3 are supplementary little ficlets that I couldn't resist throwing in there after creating the references. They're linked specifically from the point in this story where they're referenced, and can be read in any order.

“I can’t do this,” Tony whispered. The unsteady fluttering in his stomach and his pulse thrumming in his ears only bolstered that statement.

“You can,” Lee insisted. He squeezed Tony’s knee under the table.

“Says you,” Tony shot back. “You’re the actor. You’re the one who’s good at dealing with all of this.” He turned his head, taking in the small audience.

Lee squeezed again and chuckled softly. “You’re the wizard, Tony. If it starts going downhill, just erase their memories and start over.” Lee’s over-the-top wink told Tony he was kidding, but weirdly that reassurance helped put Tony’s mind at ease.

Well, slightly.

Up at the small podium, Ms. Kelley Lindley – president of the Vancouver Youth Outreach Program – was just finishing her brief introduction.

“And now, to talk about his experiences as a homeless youth, our guest speaker for the evening, Mr. Tony Foster.”

As he stood up, smoothed his sweaty palms on the thighs of his jeans, and moved to take her place, Tony wondered how in the hell he’d ended up in this situation.

When it came right down to it, he decided it was all the fault of the Toronto International Film Festival.

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

The knife slid smoothly, parting red flesh. Miniscule droplets spattered the shiny silver blade as he sliced and sliced, leaving his fingers slick. He scraped the cuttings aside and started on a new piece, about to bring the knife down again when a hand shot into his line of sight.

“Hey!” Tony protested. “Watch your fingers.”

Unrepentant, Lee popped a thin strip of red bell pepper into his mouth and crunched down on it.

“You keep stealing my vegetables, this stir fry is going to end up just a handful of beansprouts and bamboo shoots.”

Lee shrugged. “I’m sure it’ll be delicious no matter how many vegetables it has in it.” He snatched a thin wedge of raw green zucchini.

“Keep telling yourself that. I don’t see why we can’t just order the same thing from one of the eighteen Chinese restaurants within a fifteen-mile radius.”

“It’s not eighteen. Only twelve. And, it’s healthier.”

Tony snorted, but continued chopping. He’d just finished the peppers and was peeling the sticky, annoying papery layers off a red onion, when he heard a phone ring. A few notes of the ringtone told him it was Lee’s phone – they both still used _Darkest Night_ themes, but his was a special mid-season finale version where Zev had experimented with harpsichords – so Tony went back to his onion.

“Oh hey, Mike.” Lee looked over at him and nodded towards the rooftop patio.

Tony waved him off and Lee got up from the barstool at their little kitchen island and crossed to the sliding door that opened onto their private deck. He assumed that ‘Mike’ was Mike Gerelt, the director of an indy film that Lee had shot the prior fall. Tony knew he was still shopping around with it and he hoped that this was Mike calling with good news about the films’ release.

The onions were chopped – after a near miss when Tony’s watery, stinging eyes almost had him mistaking fingertip for vegetable – by the time Lee came back inside. Tony was adjusting the heat on the stove and hoping like hell he didn’t burn the marinated chicken in the wok.

“News about the Aardvark?” Tony asked. The film was titled _Concrete Menagerie_ , but the shooting title had been _Aardvark_ (due, Tony knew, to the statue of one of the eponymous creature’s appearance in a cemetery playing a key role to the plot). Gerelt was a first-time director, the film was quirky, and lighthearted, but poignant, had a strong LGBTQ+ message, and Lee had confided in him that it was the work he was the most proud of ever having done.

When Lee didn’t reply right away, Tony looked up from watching the oil swirl around the concave bottom of the pan and saw that Lee had his phone edge pressed to his bottom lip and his gaze looked about a million miles away.

“Lee?” He tried not to start to worry.

“We’re going to TIFF,” Lee finally replied, his voice just above a whisper.

Tony blinked. “Really?”

When Lee nodded Tony turned off the stove – the stir fry could wait – and hurried over to him. “Really?” he said again.

“Yeah,” Lee said, wonder on his face and in his voice. “We’re premiering at TIFF. Our world premiere.” The grin he turned to Tony was huge and there was a suspicious glisten at the corners of his eyes.

“Oh man, that’s amazing!” Tony pulled him in for a celebratory hug.

It lasted quite a long time.

When Lee finally drew back, he took Tony’s hand in his and said, “I want you to go with me. As my date.”

“Uh,” Tony froze.

“Tony?”

Trying to marshal his thoughts, brain having scattered them in about eight million different directions, Tony tried again. “Um, you want to come out at TIFF?”

“Yeah,” Lee nodded eagerly. “I mean, we’ve been talking about it. And, I mean, I just think it’d be the right time.”

Since they’d started officially dating nearly three years ago, Tony had been both hoping for and dreading the day Lee would finally make the decision to have their relationship – and consequently, his sexuality – go fully public. He’d never let it bother him that Lee’s career meant that he needed to consider how he approached the topic, and they were now ‘out’ to the people that mattered (Lee’s family and most of the cast and crew of _Darkest Night_ ) and a ‘best kept secret’ to many who didn’t (mainly the Vancouver television community) so Tony had been content.

Tony was the guy that Lee came home too. They’d gotten a townhouse together just six months ago, and Lee had started hinting he wanted them to get a dog. They were settled, and happy and… the status quo suited Tony just fine.

Sure, he wouldn’t have minded going out in public and acting more like boyfriends, but Tony’d never been a real PDA type of guy, so he didn’t let it bother him. And maybe the whole ‘roommates’ lie irked him sometimes. And, okay; occasionally the fans and guest actresses fawning all over his boyfriend got to be a bit much to have to just silently endure, but Tony knew Lee well enough to know how good he was at faking the flirtation. Most of the time he just teased Lee about it later that night, when they were naked together under the fancy, seven-hundred thread count sheets in their shared bed.

So, why was he balking now?

“Um, I mean. Are you sure? It’s so… public?”

Lee’s mouth quirked down at one corner. “Uh, yeah. That’s kind of the point. I mean, I’m playing a gay man in the film, and it just seems like it would be a good time and place to really own who I am.” He sighed and ducked his head. “I’m kind of already dreading the interview questions where they ask the stupid, cliché stuff like, ‘What’s it like being a straight guy with a reputation for womanizing to play a gay man.’ Or, ‘What was it like to kiss another man? Was it difficult?’ If I can get ahead of the press on this one, I think it’d be win-win.”

But that was the rub. The press.

Because Tony knew it didn’t end with a quick ‘Hey, surprise, I’m actually bisexual and in a long-term relationship with a gay man,’ and a few photoflashes on that one singular night. Lee might have only been the secondary lead in a syndicated vampire detective show, and he may not have been some huge box office, Hollywood star, but there were gossip blogs and magazines (online and in print) that would still love to dig into a juicy coming out story.

Digging would lead to Tony… and to Tony’s public arrest records and too many details of his sordid past.

He didn’t think he could do that to Lee.

Tony’s past had been its own player in their relationship on more than one occasion. They’d weathered the storm of the [truth potion](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21839260/chapters/52367239#workskin) and ended up stronger for it, Lee had been nothing but stalwart when shooting the _Darkest Night_ episode [_Vancouver Snow_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21839260/chapters/52367275#workskin) had dragged Tony into a mire of his own recollections, and Lee’s knowledge of what Tony had been through had essentially saved his life when he’d tried to befriend a quasi-succubus prostitute, his sympathy to her situation making him immune to her seduction. Hell, they’d even dealt with a literal spectre from Tony’s past a few weeks ago.

He knew he shouldn’t doubt the strength of their relationship, but dealing with his past in private, personal settings (for the most part) wasn’t the same thing as having it dragged out in public and laid bare for all to see.

“Tony?” Lee said gently. “The silence and the thousand-yard stare aren’t very reassuring.”

Tony cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah. Um. I know. It’s just…” he trailed off, unsure how to continue.

“Hey.” Lee reached up and cupped his hands over Tony’s shoulders, drawing him close. He angled his head so he could look Tony in the eyes. “I only wanna do this if you’re okay with it, but I do wanna do this, Tony. I want the world to know that I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. That I’ve got the most amazing boyfriend and that I love him.”

And damn, that was a sentiment Tony didn’t feel worthy of, but he cherished nonetheless. “I want that for you too, Lee.”

“And I want to do some good. Working on that film, it really opened my eyes to the kinds of messages I should be sending.”

The light in his verdant eyes was passionate and inspired. “I get that,” Tony said, stepping closer and letting his hands fall loosely on Lee’s waist. “And I think that’s awesome.”

Lee canted his head and frowned. “Why do I sense there’s a ‘but’ coming?”

“Err,” Tony hesitated. “It’s just, I think it’d be great, for you to come out. I’m fully behind that. But, um. Maybe you should hold off on the boyfriend thing? At least at first.”

“Why would I do that?” Lee’s confusion looked genuine.

Tony kind of wanted to shake him a little bit. How could the reality of their situation not be at the forefront of Lee’s mind? Sighing, Tony told him, “Because you coming out with me as your boyfriend is going to make everything so much worse for you.” He stepped back, dragged his shoulders out from Lee’s hold and then turned away. “Lee, be real. All it’s going to take is for one creeper pap to do some internet sleuthing, and he’s going to find my name.” The words came out rapid-fire, like bullets expelled from a handgun, its owner squeezing the trigger over and over. “It’s going to come up in arrest reports for petty larceny and narcotics possession and … and solicitation.”

“You were underage, Tony. That stuff happened years ago and they were all misdemeanors.”

“I still got a record.”

He felt rather than saw Lee close the space between them again when Lee’s arms came around him from behind, this time wrapping around his chest, pinning his arms, holding tight. Lee pressed his mouth into Tony’s neck, kissing there firmly. When he next spoke, the words expelled hot breath along Tony’s jaw. “I don’t care, Tony. I love you. Every single thing about you and I’m damn proud of that, and of you. Fuck anyone else and what they think.”

“Your career–” Tony began.

“Fuck my career,” Lee interrupted, nearly growling. “You’ve gotta know that you’re more important to me than that. Right? You know that?”

The hint of doubt in Lee’s voice shook Tony to his core. “Yeah,” he agreed weakly. “Yeah, I know.” Lee had said it before, and Tony knew he meant it. Getting _himself_ to believe it however, was another story.

“Dammit, Tony,” Lee grumbled, but he also kissed Tony again, right in that soft spot behind his ear. “I wanna do this. Damn the consequences. But I want to do it with you, beside me. Please.”

Tony really would be an asshole if he said no to that. He leaned back into Lee’s embrace. “If you’re completely sure that it’s what you want to do, then fine. I’ll be your date to the premiere.”

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

In the end, the event itself was mostly a blur. Tony had trailed after Lee as he walked the red carpet – waving at people, signing a few autographs for eager fans, stopping to give a quick soundbite to this reporter or that blogger – when Lee suddenly rocked to a halt. He looked back at Tony and then reached a hand to him.

Tony’d only hesitated about eleven seconds before he reached back. Their fingers threaded tight and Lee towed Tony close to his side, and then continued walking. 

As he’d expected, a plethora of cameras went off, and suddenly people who’d already gotten their ten seconds of Lee’s time, were rushing back over, questions spewing from their lips. The first to reach them was a reporter Tony recognized from a local Toronto morning show. She thrust a mic about three inches from Lee’s face, nearly elbowing Tony in the process.

“Mr. Nicholas. Lee –”

Before she could ask her question, Lee turned to the gathering photogs and held up his free hand – the other just squeezed Tony’s fingers tighter – to quiet them. “Okay, okay. Quiet down. I’m only saying this once and I’m not taking questions at this time.” He raised their joined hands “This is Tony. Yes, he’s here as my date and he’s also been my boyfriend for almost three years.”

Naturally, despite Lee’s insistence he wasn’t going to answer them, the questions started flying fast and furious and cameras clicked and flashed in strobing bursts.

Tony let it all flow over him, keeping his focus on that single point of contact between their bodies, and tried his best not to look like a startled deer in headlights. True to his word, Lee continued down the carpet walkway, keeping Tony close, and ignored the chaos he was leaving in his wake.

The movie itself was fantastic. At Lee’s side and surrounded by the director and producer and other cast and crew, Tony was insulated enough from the chatter to truly enjoy it. He listened to the buzzing chatter after the screening and was quietly pleased on Lee’s behalf. All signs pointed to success and a very positive reception.

In the first few days after the festival, Tony and Lee returned to Vancouver and basically hid themselves away in their townhouse. Lee took calls from his agent – who’d been well-prepared to run interference for him – but basically avoided social media and any contact that wasn’t from friends, family or industry people he knew and trusted.

He felt a little guilty that the news of Lee’s coming out seemed to overshadow the fact that _Concrete Menagerie_ won the Grolsch People's Choice Award at TIFF. It was a huge honor and should’ve been a major boost for Lee’s career (movies that won People’s Choice at TIFF often went on to do well at the American Academy Awards), but every time a reporter set-up an interview ostensibly to discuss the film and the award, they veered off-topic to Lee’s sexuality. But Lee just brushed it off and started insisting that any discussion of the film needed to be taken up with Mike Gerelt. He was the director and film writer and deserved the accolades.

Tony had just started to relax and let his guard down, when things took the turn he’d been fearing. Lee was lounging on the couch, flicking through channels on the big screen TV, and Tony was grabbing a couple of bottles of a nice microbrew lager from the fridge when the doorbell rang. Expecting a delivery of Thai from their favorite take-out place, Tony didn’t think twice about answering the door.

He checked through the peephole and saw a guy wearing a ball cap adorned with the logo of One More Thai and holding a brown paper bag. “Hey,” Tony started to say as he swung the door open, “how much–”

A cell phone camera shot up and started snapping pictures. “Mr. Foster, is it true that you’re a hooker who’s being paid by Lee Nicholas to pose as his boyfriend? Did he pick you up when you were on the streets in Toronto?” The questions continued rapid-fire.

Tony blinked, gaping. “What the… what the fuck?”

Footsteps hurried from behind him and then Lee was there. He reached past Tony, yanked the bag out of the guy’s hand and then slammed the door in his face.

“Shit,” he said, slumping back against the side of their fancy hall tree. “Shit, Tony. I’m so sorry.”

Still a little overwhelmed, Tony tried to shrug it off. “Hey, uh… no big deal. We uh, still got our food, right?”

Kindly, Lee played along. He looked down at the bag and unrolled the top to peer inside. “Yep. It’s food. I didn’t just like, steal a camera from a paparazzi asshole. Kinda wish I had though.”

“Yeah, good. Uh, I’m hungry.” Tony turned and went back to the kitchen. The beers he’d pulled out were sitting on the divider island; he stopped next to the barstool and picked one up but didn’t open it.

Lee followed him and silently went through the motions of unpacking the containers.

“So, uh. That’s the rumor, huh?” Tony stared down at the bottle in his hands. He picked idly at the label with a thumbnail.

“Tony, you of all people should know better than to listen to bullshit like that.”

“Actually,” Tony managed a laugh. “It’s not as bad as it could be. I mean, they’re basically suggesting you’re paying me to be your boyfriend, which is pretty damn flattering.”

Lee barked out a startled chuckle. “Well, yeah. I suppose that’s true. Makes me sound like a creeper, though.” He took the bottle from Tony’s hands, set it down and then stepped into the nonexistent space between Tony’s body and the counter, making room for himself. He wrapped his arm’s around Tony’s waist and dropped his forehead to Tony’s shoulder.

“Thank you,” Lee said softly.

Tony returned the embrace, snaking his arm’s beneath Lee’s and holding tight. He pressed a kiss to Lee’s temple. “For what?”

“For being willing to go through this with me. For loving me enough to put up with it.”

Having spent enough time feeling sorry for himself, Tony had no intention of letting Lee wallow. “Hey, it’s worth it. All of it. And we’ll get through it. Hell, we’ll be laughing about it sooner than later, I’ll bet.”

“I’m gonna take care of this, Tony,” Lee said roughly. Apparently, Tony’s attempts at blasé weren’t having their intended effect. “I’m going to make sure we get to set the record straight and share our story our way.”

Tony had to kiss him again. He nudged Lee’s brow with his chin, urging him to raise his head. Then he caught Lee’s mouth in a slow, leisurely and thorough kiss. When he pulled back, Tony said, “Don’t you mean we’ll get to set the record gay?”

Lee narrowed his eyes, then rolled them overdramatically. “Really, Tony?” His quirking lips and the amusement in his voice belied the exasperation.

“C’mon,” Tony said, disentangling himself from Lee’s embrace. “Let’s enjoy this meal that we ended up not paying for.”

“Huh, oh yeah. Well, hopefully that asshole got stuck with the bill. Although, I’m going to call One More Thai and make sure they instruct their delivery guys not to hand over orders to randoms hanging out outside our door.”

“Good idea,” Tony agreed.

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

“Thanks for being my guest, Mr. Nicholas, Mr. Foster.” Aaron Darvish, host of Vancouver’s Pride in Media, an LGBTQ plus themed CBC radio show and podcast, smiled genially.

“Thanks for having us,” Lee said easily. “Call me, Lee.”

“Yeah,” Tony agree, much more shakily. “And uh, Tony. Please.”

He was seated next to Lee, who looked calm and collected even wearing the overlarge headphones, damn him. Tony felt like his nerves were fraying like the ends of live wires, ready to jolt him at the slightest nudge. He couldn’t believe he’d let Lee talk him into doing this. He was just glad they’d avoided a television interview; he’d probably have done a notice-me-not and snuck out of the studio before the cameras started rolling.

Aaron continued, talking into his microphone. “And I especially want to thank Lee and Tony for agreeing to tell their story on our show. I know there have been a few tabloids and blogs wanting exclusive rights, especially after some of the articles that’ve recently made the rounds.”

Lee snorted irritably. “Yeah, we weren’t exactly in the mood to be blackmailed into telling our story.”

“You’d go so far as to call it that?” Aaron asked, sounding intrigued.

“Yeah,” Lee confirmed. “I mean, we were flat out told that certain _details_ ”–he did air quotes physically, but they were evident in his tone as well –“would be left out if we gave them exclusivity.”

“Well, we’ll get into those details later. So, for our listeners that have been living under a rock these last couple of weeks, actor and co-star of television’s _Darkest Night_ , the highest rated supernatural drama on syndicated television, not to mention the star of the film, _Concrete Menagerie_ , a recent TIFF award winner, raised a few eyebrows when he attended the world-famous film festival with his long-term boyfriend, Tony Foster. Why was this news, you may ask? Well, up until then, Lee had never made his sexuality public.”

“That’s right, Aaron,” Lee interjected smoothly. “I’ve waffled with the decision of coming out, publicly, for a couple of years now.”

“You’ve had a bit of a reputation as a ladies man, in fact.”

Lee huffed out a soft laugh. “Apparently. Early in my career I’m a bit ashamed to admit that I bought into the whole dog and pony show that’s expected of young actors. They wanted me to sell sexy, so the appropriate arm candy was a must. Plus, I have to be honest, I was still figuring things out for myself. I’d been ignoring and pushing aside any feelings I ever had of attraction to men. It was just so much easier to let myself be the guy everyone expected because then I didn’t have to have that struggle.”

“So, you identify as…? If you don’t mind my asking.”

Tony thought it was a cheap question, but Aaron only seemed curious, not like he was digging for salacious gossip.

“I’ve had relationships with women, and I’ve slept with women. Bi would probably be the closest if we’re looking for labels. But, um,” Lee’s cheeks pinked attractively. “I’m feeling pretty exclusively gay these days.”

“Gotcha. Hey, we all know sexuality is a spectrum.” Aaron spread his hands. “It’s great that you’re finally able to be comfortable in your own skin.”

“Yeah, Thanks.”

“So, coming out. What made you decide to do it at the Toronto International Film Festival?”

Lee looked at Tony, who made a ‘go on’ gesture. This was Lee’s story to tell.

“A couple of things. I’d been given the lead in a brilliant little independent film where I played a character who’s gay, and there’s a big focus on self-acceptance and facing the decision to take that step of coming out. Garrett, that’s the character I play, struggles with admitting it to his dying mother. It just didn’t feel right representing a movie with such a poignant and important message, when I hadn’t challenged my own self in the same way.”

“You said there were a couple of things?” Aaron asked. “Care to elaborate?”

Ducking his chin a moment, Lee’s smile grew into something a bit bashful and secretive. “Well, I mean, I was tired of living a lie. Every single interview I’ve done for the past three years, I’ve been asked about who I’m dating or about rumors of seeing this actress or that model. It got really old, really fast.

“Anything else?”

Lee turned to Tony then, widening grin pushing dimples into his cheeks. “Oh yeah. I definitely got sick of not being able to kiss my boyfriend in public places.”

Tony felt his cheeks heat. For the hundredth time that day, he thanked whatever gods were listening that this was not being filmed.

Apparently, Aaron found the comment charming because he was smiling fondly at the pair of them. “That’s awesome guys. So,” he shuffled through a few note cards. “Let’s talk about your early relationship. How you guys met. Tony, you’re a T.A.D. – which, for those not in the know, stands for Trainee Assistant Director – on _Darkest Night_. Is that where you first met Lee?”

Having a question posed directly to him had Tony’s tongue gluing itself to the roof of his mouth. He tried to say, “Yes,” but it came out as little more than a croak. Lee took pity on him and slid over the coffee mug he’d been provided with earlier. Tony took a sip of the tepid liquid, swished it around his mouth and swallowed. “Uh, yeah. I joined the _Darkest Night_ team early on as a PA.”

Aaron held up a hand and clarified. “Production Assistant. Basically, a glorified gopher.”

“Right,” Tony agreed with a short, feigned chuckle. “So, yeah. I started working on the show and I met Lee.” He shrugged, unsure of what else to say.

“So, was it love at first sight?”

Tony let out an unexpected huff of laughter at that. “No, definitely not. I mean, if you count that I was a clumsy oaf and a complete idiot any time I got within five feet of Lee, then yeah sure. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted instantly, but he was the co-star and I was just a peon.”

Turning to Lee, Aaron asked, “Lee, was it the same for you?”

“Well, back then I was more concerned about that image I mentioned earlier. So, yeah, I noticed the new guy. And then I immediately hooked up with a woman on our crew to try to quash those mixed-up feelings.”

Brenda, Lee realized. He nudged Lee’s knee under the table, but Lee was just giving a self-deprecating little laugh. “That was definitely a last stab at maintaining my heterosexuality.”

“So, what changed?” Aaron wondered. He’d propped his chin on his hand, elbow on the desk, and seemed genuinely draw into their story.

“Well, we just ended up going through a lot together. There were some pretty high-stress situations that took place during filming and Tony was always there for me.”

“Right, the events at Caufield House,” Aaron said knowingly.

Lee’s eyes narrowed. _That_ topic was strictly verboten and had been one of the few things he and Tony stated would not be discussed. “Amongst other things,” Lee said vaguely.

Sensing Lee’s hackles getting ready to rise, Tony broke in. “I don’t think people realize how close a cast and crew can get. There were a lot of highs and lows especially on our show, and Lee was just always amazing in either circumstance.”

“Right,” Lee continued Tony’s thread, shooting him a grateful wink. “And I finally started to let myself accept how I was feeling.”

“And I finally let myself believe that a guy like Lee could be into me,” Tony admitted. “And, I guess things just kind of progressed from there,” Tony added. “It didn’t happen over night and we were both kind of idiots for a while.”

Aaron’s fond smiling was starting to get a little creepy. “That’s great, guys. We’re so happy for you. So, it’s been what? Three years that you’ve been together?”

“Yeah, just a little over that,” Lee acknowledged.

“So, let’s switch tracks here. Tony, Lee’s coming out meant that you got a spotlight turned on you. And, you’ve led a colorful life, let’s say.”

“Let’s say,” Tony agreed, dryly.

“Want to set the record straight for our listeners. Maybe put some of the rumors to rest and share what’s fact and what’s fiction.”

Tony nodded shakily, but his voice seemed to have deserted him again.

Lee leaned over to him, whispering. “Set the record gay, right?”

Grateful, Tony grasped at Lee’s knee under the table. “Yeah, so, um… some of what’s been in the blogs and gossip rags has been true. Some of it’s been utter bullshit.” He broke off. “Uh, sorry, can I say that?”

Aaron laughed. “Sure, no problem.”

“Okay,” Tony went on. “So, the truth. I was a pretty normal kid, had two normal parents and led a pretty normal life until I was fifteen and decided to tell my folks I was gay. My dad kicked me out. No son of his was going to be a _fairy_. So, I ended up on the streets. I did what a lot of homeless kids do.”

“Which was?”

“Whatever it takes. Yeah, I got into drugs. I was never a heavy user, but sometimes I’d crash in abandoned buildings where the junkies tended to congregate. It was a quick escape from the shitty reality of life. I stole shit. I snuck into hotels and used their bathrooms to shower and stole food from room service trays. And yes, I hooked. Not all the time, but when I needed to eat, and I was low on options.” He shrugged. He wasn’t going to apologize for the things he’d done to survive.

“Every now and then,” Tony went on, “a few of us would try to get jobs or scrape together enough to try to get a place together, just some shitty box with four walls and a ceiling, but no one wants to hire a sixteen-year-old dropout with zero skills. Those situations rarely lasted long.”

“What changed for you, Tony? How did you end up in Vancouver?”

“Well, it mostly started because I befriended a cop.”

“Oh?” Aaron leaned closer.

“Yeah. Vicki Nelson’s her name. She’s not a cop no… any more, but she busted me once for soliciting and possession and instead of just kicking me back out into the shit, she sat me down, bought me a pizza and tried to help. I tried to help her in turn, giving her tips on things going down on the streets, keeping an eye out for troublemakers who wanted to come in and mess with the status quo. Having someone like her treat me like a human being, someone who cared, gave me a new sense of purpose. I stopped with the drugs and the stealing and tried to straighten up.”

He was going to have to gloss over everything about Henry.

“She sounds like an amazing person.”

Tony bobbed his head vehemently. “Oh yeah, she’s great. She’s retired from the force now, but she’s a Private Detective in Toronto now, and she’s amazing.”

“You still keep in touch?”

“Oh yeah. She still checks in regularly to make sure I’m behaving.” Vicki had reached out right after TIFF, offering to come to Vancouver and kick asses or put her vamp-mojo on people on his behalf. “So, I managed to get a regular job in a video store, got a teeny apartment and saved up. Then a mutual friend of mine and Vicki’s encouraged me to come to Vancouver because he knew I had an interest in film making and the industry. He’s a writer, so he had a few connections and I ended up coming out here and going to school. And then I got my job on _Darkest Night_.” He gave a one-sided shrug. “The rest is history.”

“Thank you, Tony,” Aaron said, sounding sincere. “Really, thanks for being so candid and being willing to share your story.”

“Uh yeah, no problem.”

Aaron turned to Lee then. “Lee, how much did you know about Tony’s past when you first met?”

“Enough,” Lee stated cryptically. “Television sets are rife with gossip. I picked up on enough early on to realize I didn’t give a shit about Tony’s past. And as our relationship progressed from friendship to romance, he confided in me and never kept anything about himself hidden.”

Aaron hummed, speculative. “Given the chance, if you could go back and change things?”

Lee’s reply was immediate, “Honestly, Aaron, I wouldn’t change a thing about Tony. I mean, I hate what he went through. I can’t image my own parents not supporting me – mine have been so great, they adore Tony – and, I’m honestly grateful he did what he needed to survive out there. But every single thing he went through made him the man he is today. It doesn’t bother me, at all. I love him for who he is. All that he is.”

Tony had to clear his throat and glance up at the ceiling to keep his emotions in check. Even Aaron was starting to look choked up.

“Well, there you have it folks. This is a love story that’s better than any movie, that’s for certain.” Aaron swiveled in his chair to look at Tony once again. “Now, before we wrap up the interview, Tony, we have a bit of a surprise for you.”

“You do?” Tony looked over at Lee who had a cat-who-ate-the-canary grin on his face. Shit. That didn’t bode well.

Aaron nodded. “We’re going to take a call.” He hit a button at his station and then said, “Caller, are you there?”

“I am. Hi, Tony. My name is Kelley Lindley and I’m the president of the Vancouver Youth Outreach Program.”

“Uh, hi, Kelley,” Tony replied and immediately hated how awkward he sounded.

“Tony, your story is so familiar to me. I see the same thing every day with the kids who come into the program. Most are homeless, a large majority are LGBTQplus, and many have had to resort to criminal behavior to survive out there.”

He wasn’t getting where this was going. “Uh, okay.”

“I was hoping, Tony, that we could convince you and your partner to speak at one of our community events. We do an open-doors meal and then encourage the kids to stay afterwards listen to our guest speakers. Your story is inspiring, and I think it would do a lot of good for other at-risk LGBTQplus youth.”

Lee’s expression said that he’d known about this and he flashed Tony a thumbs up.

“I suppose having a little bit of star power there won’t hurt attendance either, hey?” Tony guessed.

Kelley laughed. “Well, no. I admit the kids would be more likely to stick around with television and film’s Lee Nicholas as our guest. But, Tony, _your_ story is what I’m more interested in. The message that these kids can get out and make a life for themselves. What do you say?”

He wanted to say that he’d rather face a hoard of clothes-eating imps again (the ‘never-to-be-referred-to-again incident having taken place at the end of last season’s filming) than talk to a bunch of homeless teenagers, but that was fear talking.

“Yeah,” he breathed out in a rush. “Yeah, that’d be cool.”

“Terrific!” Kelley’s enthusiasm was quite pronounced. “We’ll have our people call your people.”

“Great yeah,” Tony agreed.

Aaron gave him a thumbs up and disconnected the call. “Well, that’s all the time we have for today, once again I’d like to thank Tony Foster and Lee Nicholas for being our guests today. Thank you both so much for sharing your inspiring story.”

“Happy to do it,” Lee replied. “Thanks for having us.”

“Yeah,” Tony tacked on, “thanks. This was… really good.” To his surprise, Tony meant it.

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

“So, uh, yeah. That’s my answer,” Tony concluded, finishing fielding one of the last questions from the ‘Q&A’ after his speech to the Vancouver Youth Outreach Program attendees. He glanced to the table and saw Kelley holding up a single finger.

“We’ve got time for one more question,” Tony told the audience. Arms shot up. Tony scanned the crowd and settled on a young guy with faded-green hair and a nose ring. “You.”

The young man stood up and waited until a moderator approached him with the small mic. “So, if I get on the straight and narrow like you did, I’ve got a chance of bagging me a hottie like Lee Nicholas?”

The crowd laughed and so did Tony. “Well, I make no promises. But it’ll certainly increase your chances.”

After a round of applause – surprisingly loud considering that when he first stepped up to the podium to speak, the teens had seemed disinterested, and a few had loudly complained about wanted Lee to speak – Tony stepped back to his seat, and let Kelley take over to wrap things up.

“How’d I do?” he asked in a quiet aside to Lee.

When Lee didn’t answer immediately, Tony turned to look at him in concern. “Lee?”

Lee’s eyelashes were damp clumps and moisture welled in the corners of each eye. “You were amazing, Tony,” he husked out. And then, ignoring the audience of homeless teens and Kelley’s closing remarks, Lee took Tony’s head in his hands and kissed him full on, hard and fierce.

Tony closed his eyes even as the kids started to holler and whistle, and he raised a hand in a thumbs-up. There were cheers. Tony decided he'd give TIFF a pass, this time.


	2. Truth in Tofu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of magic in the form of a truth spell causes tension between Tony and Lee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A supplementary little ficlet to go with the main gift, because once I started coming up with references to these scenarios... I couldn't stop myself from needing to jot a few down.
> 
> This chapter stands alone, but is also directly referenced from the full story in Chapter 1.

“Mason,” Peter barked out, unusually gruff with his temperamental star. “How many times are we going to have to reshoot this scene?”

Mason, who’d flubbed a line for the eighth take in a row, threw up his hands in frustration and bit back, “As many as it takes because Melinda here has her hand down my pants and it’s distracting me.” He huffed on the last word and then seemed to realize that all around him jaws had fallen open and eyes had gone wide. “What?”

“Excuse me?” Peter looked like he was about three shades of purple away from apoplectic. Tony turned down the volume on his mic in anticipation of the explosion that was sure to come.

“Did… I just say that?” Mason narrowed his eyes. “Why would I say that?”

“Are you telling me that,”–Peter paused to glance down at his sides for the guest actresses name, since Mason had used her character’s –“Claudia is giving you a goddamn handy under the desk?”

The blocking for the scene had Raymond Dark seated behind his large mahogany desk, a teary-eyed victim-of-the-week in a chair pulled close so they could both examine photos spread over the desk top. As Tony watched, Claudia’s arm – the one that was ostensibly on an armrest and hidden by the edge of the desk – surreptitiously wriggled back to her own lap.

Mason shook his head and then said, “Yes.” He blinked and frowned. “I mean, of course… she is. Dammit. What the fuck is going on? I mean nnnn… n’yes.”

It was Kate who figured it out first. “Shit, he’s been whammied with a truth serum.”

A collective groan went through the studio and then everyone turned to Tony.

He raised his hands, palms out. “Hey, it wasn’t me. I could’ve gone my whole life without knowing about Mason getting a little rub and tug during shooting.”

Peter cocked an expectant eyebrow.

“But,” he continued, “you want me to figure out what’s going on, right.” It didn’t quite bother him that ninety-nine percent of the time he was looked to as first the source of on-set trouble, and then only secondarily as the solution. Tony looked around the soundstage, his gaze skimming deliberately past Lee, and then he said, “Okay, I want each of you to yell out the answer orange when I ask you the next question. No matter that it’s not the right answer. Got it?”

Most everyone nodded.

“Okay, shout the answer: what color is the sky?”

Per his instruction, most of the answers came back as he’d cued, but there were a handful of ‘blue’s’ mixed in. So, it was more than just Mason affected.

“Right, okay. Pavin, Sorge, Andrea and Mason. The four of you need to figure out what you all have in common. Who you all talked to today, what you touched, anything that can pinpoint why the four of you are affected.”

“What about Lee?” Kate asked, curling her lip at Tony.

“I’m going to talk to Lee,” Tony explained. “First, I mean,” he tacked on rapidly. “I’ll talk to everyone separately.” His immediate assumption was that this had been targeted at either Mason or Lee. And, maybe it was selfish, but Tony knew that Lee had a secret that he was keeping from all but a select few people.

“Fine,” Peter waved them all away. “We’ll take twenty. But we’ve got four more scenes to get through today.”

Tony wasn’t going to be the one to contradict that and even Adam just looked at him and shrugged. So, Tony motioned for Lee to follow him and then led him through the narrow costume hallway to his dressing room. Once inside, he shut the door. It would give them a modicum of privacy.

He waited until Lee sat down on the small coffee table that usually served as a receptacle for his helmet and sunglasses, and then asked, “Hey, how’re you doing?”

Lee’s mouth opened and closed and then he frowned. “Uh, I’m scared.”

That wasn’t the answer Tony had been expecting. “Scared? Why?”

Lee’s whole head twitched, and his jaw clenched tight. “I’m afraid you’re going to ask me questions about things I… don’t want to talk about.”

“Oh.” Tony wasn’t sure what to say to that. He’d expected to come in here and question Lee about any strange set-visitors or maybe weird fan mail he’d received; something to help Tony target the source of this honesty-affliction.

Tony slumped down on the lumpy couch opposite Lee and then leaned forward to prop his elbows on his knees. The move put them at eye-level. He wanted to reach out, take Lee’s hand, but Lee’s whole body was taut and curled in on itself.

“Hey,” he said gently. “Hey, I just want to figure this out. I’m not going to be an asshole and ask you personal questions to trap you. If I wanna know what you thought of that thing we tried in bed on Tuesday night, I’ll ask you directly.” He gave a playful smirk.

Lee loosened up at that, somewhat, and he returned the grin. “I didn’t hate it, but it was kind of weird and a lot overwhelming.”

Huffing out a laugh, Tony nodded. “Great to know for future reference. Now, let’s see if we can figure out how you got dosed with a truth serum and who might’ve wanted to make that happen.”

He spent the next fifteen minutes or so asking Lee carefully constructed questions that did little to give Tony any clues to what might’ve happened. He’d need to see with the others had come up with and compare notes. When he couldn’t think of anything else, Tony clapped his hands on his thighs. “Well, that wasn’t so bad, was it? Didn’t stray to close to personal, risky territory?”

Lee snorted, “Yeah, you didn’t ask me what I think of your life before Vancouver.” He gasped as soon as the words slipped out, clamped a hand over his mouth and his eyes went comically wide. A heartfelt, “Fuck,” slipped out between the gaps of his fingers.

Tony jerked back, shook his head. He could feel his mouth moving, but no words were coming out. Of all the things he’d figured Lee wanted to avoid, he’d never thought _that_ would be one of them.

“Don’t,” Lee said, urgent and pleading. “Tony, don’t. Please. We’ll talk about it after. I promise.”

Every instinct in Tony screamed for him to ask, to find out what secrets Lee was hiding. He didn’t even think Lee would blame him if he did give in to the urge. Lee’s hand had fallen away from his mouth and both hands gripped the edge of the coffee table, while his jaw clenched so hard Tony could see that tendon in his neck pulsing.

“You’ll tell me the truth later?”

A breath burst out of Lee’s mouth, violent and noisy. “Yes,” he gasped. “Anything you want to know. Just… not like this, okay?”

Tony nodded. “Okay. Yeah.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair and brought it down to rub at the base of his skull. “You’ve been stuck in too many damn situations where you’ve been forced to do things against your will. You know I’d never do that to you. I trust you.” He was careful to phrase his words as statements, and nothing that could be construed as a question that might force Lee to respond.

“Thank you, Tony,” Lee said sincerely.

“Uh yeah. ‘course.” Getting to his feet, Tony jabbed a thumb towards the door. “C’mon. Let’s go see what the others have figured out.”

“Yeah,” Lee agreed, still sounding shaky. He took a moment to suck in a deep lungful of air and let it out slowly through pursed lips. Then he stood, gave Tony a soft smile, and headed out of his dressing room.

✧༝┉┉┉┉┉˚*❋ ❋ ❋*˚┉┉┉┉┉༝✧

“I can’t believe it was the tofu.” Tony shuddered. He looked to Lee in the driver’s seat and smirked. “And you judge me for not eating healthy. See what happens when you try?”

Lee chuckled. “I still think you should try tofu, Tony. Personally, I can’t believe Mason and the others _figured out_ it was the tofu. And that the new craft services person was responsible.”

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t blame her for being pissed that Mason didn’t recognize her. When I grilled her about the spellwork she used, she said that she’d cooked him that exact same dish at her apartment and he’d stayed the night.”

“Well it was eight years ago,” Lee countered, but only halfheartedly. “Although, with Mason he could’ve slept with her a week ago and he’d have forgotten her name, so…” he shrugged. “I’m just glad you were able to figure out how to counter her magic potion, or whatever.”

“Magic marinade, apparently. And I don’t think she’ll be cooking up any internet-sourced revenge magic any time soon.”

Lee was silent a few minutes as he navigated traffic. “My place?” he asked.

Tony hesitated. “Uh, yeah. If that’s okay?”

Lee’s eyes flicked over to him in a quick, sideward glance and then back to the road. “Why wouldn’t it be okay?”

He’d debated with himself about even bringing it up, but Tony knew they couldn’t ignore the elephant in the room. Er, well the elephant in the back seat. “Uh, just didn’t know if you’d want to have that conversation there, or maybe somewhere you could escape from if you need to.” He tried to inject humor into the statement, but his words came out shaky.

“Conver–“ Lee started and then remembered. “Oh, right.” He swallowed hard. “Uh, yeah. Maybe someplace neutral?”

When Lee took a left turn onto a street Tony wasn’t familiar with, he asked. “Where’re we going?”

“Just a place I thought it might be nice to talk.”

He drove them to a small park that overlooked a quiet pond and parked the car. “C’mon,” he said, unbuckling his seat belt. “Let’s sit outside.”

Cliché as it was, there was a bench near the edge of the pond and there were even geese and ducks on the water. Tony took a seat, but Lee stayed standing. He knelt and picked up a few stones and chucked them into the water.

Tony waited.

Eventually, the last stone still skipping across the ponds’ surface, Lee turned to him and said, “I’m not enough for you.”

“What?” Tony reeled. That was _not_ what he expected to hear from Lee Nicholas. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Lee struggled visibly to get the words out. He clenched his hands at empty air and his mouth opened and closed several times, but no sound ensued.

Tony stood and urged Lee down to the bench. “Hey, c’mon. Take it easy.”

After Tony sat back down, an arm around Lee’s back, Lee turned slightly so he could face Tony as he said, “You’ve lived this life that’s… full of experiences that I could never comprehend. And I’ve seen in the last year, how well you thrive in crazy situations. I worry that once the whole glamor of dating an actor wears off, you’re gonna realize I’m like, stupidly dull. I’m just the guy you have to rescue most of the time. And, I get that that can probably be kind of addicting. But… once all of that wears off? What’s left?”

Shaking his head in disbelief, Tony’s voice went a bit high as he asked, “ _That’s_ what’s you meant by being afraid of talking about my past?”

“Yeah” Lee nodded.

“Shit,” Tony blurted, relieved and confused in equal parts. “I thought you meant that you couldn’t get over the fact that I used to suck dick for money.”

Lee frowned and his brows dipped in. “Why wouldn’t I be able to get over that?” He snapped his mouth shut a moment and then went on, “Okay,” he breathed, and he couldn’t quite look Tony in the eye. “Okay, maybe I feel a little intimidated by the fact that you’ve got all this experience when I’m used to being the one who’s leading things.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Lee, it’s not like I ran an underground S&M dungeon. Most of whatever I’ve done with other guys is stuff we’ve already done. And the shit I haven’t done yet, I wanna try with you.”

“You also used to fuck a vampire on the regular, Tony. How the hell do I compete with that?”

Suspecting they were getting to the root of things, Tony took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Okay, yes. That’s outside of the realm of normal for most people. But, Lee. You know that things between Henry and I have been over since I moved here. What he and I had was important, it changed me as a person, but he and I were never equals. We couldn’t be. And I could never live like that. I want what you and I have. I fucking adore that you’re dull. Which, you’re really, really not.”

Lee was still frowning though, so Tony went on, “Hey, look. I did the whole ‘fight to survive’ thing for too long, and then I stayed too long in a situation that wasn’t right for me because I felt beholden to the person that got me out. All I’ve ever wanted is normal, safe, comfortable. Maybe a chance to be happy. You give me all of that. I don’t even know what I did to deserve getting any of it, and hell, I’m scared on the daily that you’re going to realize you can do a million times better than an ex-hooker/junkie turned wizard–”

“I’m not,” Lee interrupted. “I couldn’t. Don’t ever think that, okay?”

Tony cocked a brow.

“Okay yeah, I’m a big ol’ hypocrite.” Lee admitted with a huff of laughter.

“Ehh,” Tony shrugged. “We both are.” He reached up to cup a hand around Lee’s jaw. “So, no more worrying about me, right?”

Wrapping his own hand around the back of Tony’s neck, letting his fingers graze the thin skin of Tony’s nape, Lee nodded. “Right. And no more worrying about me.”

“Right,” Tony said, the word breathed out against Lee’s lips as he leaned in to kiss him.

They rarely did this in public, and it felt subversive and bold and after Lee’s tongue swept against his and his own teeth nipped at Lee’s lower lip, Tony knew they’d have to move this away from a park bench sooner rather than later.

“My place?” Lee asked as he drew back, his eyes warm with desire.

“Oh yeah,” Tony agreed, standing and pulling Lee up from the bench. “Let’s go.”

As they made their way back to Lee’s car, he said. “We’ll order in dinner. I’m thinking tofu.”

He completely deserved the little surge of a Powershot that Tony aimed at his ass.


	3. Vancouver Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The latest script for Darkest Night dredges up some unpleasant memories for Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A supplementary little ficlet to go with the main gift, because once I started coming up with references to these scenarios... I couldn't stop myself from needing to jot a few down.
> 
> This chapter stands alone, but is also directly referenced from the full story in Chapter 1.

“That’s not right,” Tony muttered under his breath, his hand carefully covering the mic of his headset. Despite his attempt at keeping the remark to himself, Peter shot him a look.

Tony ducked his head and tried to look like he was focusing on the screen in front of him – he was supposed to be keeping an eye on sightlines in the shot and providing corrections to Pavin on Camera one – but he knew Peter wouldn’t let his comment slide.

Sure enough, after Peter called, “Cut. Let’s reset that and try it with Sorge’s modified lighting,” he was out of his chair. “Something you want to add, Mr. Foster?” His expression – brows dipped inward over narrowed eyes contrasting the sideward pull of his mouth – said he wasn’t sure if he wanted to be annoyed at the interruption or concerned about the cause of it.

Shaking his head, Tony replied, “It’s nothing, Peter.”

Peter cocked his head. “Didn’t sound like nothing. Should I be worried about my shoot running long?” He glanced around like something demonic or supernatural was going to materialize out of the shadows (which… had happened before, so Tony cut him a break).

Tony sighed. “Only if you care about authenticity.”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s just, this scene.” Tony gestured towards the soundstage where the latest ‘victim-of-the-week’ was propped up against the ‘generic brick wall in an alley’ set-piece. “That’s not what would happen. They wouldn’t just go through his stuff and then leave him there. They may be junkies and hookers, but they were his friends… there’s like, loyalty on the streets. Yanno?”

Brows winging up, Peter eyed him speculatively. He was surprisingly gentle when he said. “Speaking from experience, Foster?”

Pressing his lips tight, Tony nodded.

This entire episode had been getting to him. The monster-of-the-week was just some generic ghoul (with the clever twist of being a heroin addict due to the lifestyle of his victims), but the victims themselves were mostly older teens who’d ended up on the streets and turned to crime and prostitution and drugs to survive.

Raymond Dark and James Taylor Grant, the heroes of _Darkest Night_ were plotted to befriend a young runaway who’d been kicked out of her house after coming out to her parents. She was their ‘in’ on the case. Through the monitor, Tony had just watched her peering out from behind a dumpster, silently observing the first victim’s ‘friends’ rifle through his pockets and laugh over their good fortune.

The whole thing hit way too close to home.

It irked him more that they’d gotten close in some areas – too close, in a few – but mostly just treated the teens as a throwaway joke meant to bring on the man-pain for the leads. Raymond was going to spend several scenes in flashback mode, recalling his youth as an urchin in days of yore, while James got to portray the big-brother type to the runaway.

When Lee had brought home the script a week ago, Tony had tried to brush off his initial reactions, and he’d been mostly successful. He’d scoffed reading through it and made a few scathing comments to Lee about being tempted to swap the coffee in the writers-room for decaf but had been content to let Lee distract him with sweet, soft kisses plied over the line of his throat. Even reading through the sides over the last few days to prep for the shoot, he’d maintained a similar detachment.

Seeing it happening in front of him, scripted or not, was proving far more distracting.

“Hmm,” Peter hummed out loudly. “C.B. doesn’t care for inaccuracy.”

Which was a ridiculous thing to say about a syndicated Vampire Detective television series that had featured Leprechauns in the last episode.

He clapped Tony on the shoulder. “Make some notes. We’ll keep shooting today, but we’ve got a little bit of padded time in the schedule to rework this scene if we need to.”

It was a hugely generous offer – extra time in the shooting schedule was a rare and precious commodity – and Tony swallowed hard and nodded. He wasn’t quite able to articulate his thanks, so he grunted.

“Re-writes would be needed tomorrow, first thing,” Peter added sharply, repeating the ‘comforting’ slap on Tony’s shoulder just a bit harder.

“Right,” Tony agreed, bobbing his head fervently. “Gotcha.”

“Okay,” Peter said, walking away and raising his voice to be heard beyond the cameras. “Let’s roll this again.”

Determined to keep his focus, Tony ignored the dialogue and the actors as best he could and watched the hell out of those sightlines in the monitor.

~~~~~~~~~

“It’s really bugging you, isn’t it?” Lee asked after Tony pushed away his plate of pasta only half-eaten.

Pencil already poised over the butter-yellow script pages, Tony nodded distractedly. He scribbled out a bit of blocking that suggested ‘street junkie 1’ would rifle through ‘dead junkie’s’ pants pockets ‘with little care’. He harshly x-ed out the dialogue that included their laughter.

Finding the right words to put into the mouths of these characters wasn’t difficult. He’d spoken them himself in similar – albeit less supernatural – circumstances. He changed their mocking to sympathy and their callous disregard to genuine concern. It made the motivation of Julia – the runaway – a bit more difficult to pin down. In the scripted version, she was hiding for fear of being assaulted by two guys who, although street kids like her, were drug-addled and crazed. He reworked her fear into a wariness of the situation, and a concern that the killer might still be lurking.

Lee finished his own dinner and let him work, and his puttering – putting away leftovers, rinsing the dishes and stacking them in the dishwasher – faded into background noise until Tony lost track of him as he continued with his re-writes.

Weirdly, Julia’s later conversation with James – where she recounted her experience of coming out to zealously religious parents and being told she wasn’t welcome in their home – didn’t affect him nearly as much as the cliché portrayal of the junkie-hookers.

He viciously hacked apart one scene in which one of the boys who’d found the original victim was trying to lure a ‘John’ from his car into an alley. The dialogue had been pure Seventies porno: all leering and sleezy, “You lookin’ for a good time, big boy?” crap. He gave it a more realistic, if somewhat grittier tone. But if the censors hadn’t balked at Mason saying, “It’s all just tits and ass,” in Raymond Dark’s cultured tone, he didn’t _think_ they’d mind, “Ten for a handy in your front seat. Twenty for a blowie in the back.”

By the time he finished retooling a final diatribe from Julia, where she lamented to James, “They’re already worried about surviving the coming winter and then about their next meal, their next smoke, their next bit of cash. They don’t need to worry about some kind of monster too.” Tony felt wrung-out and exhausted.

But he also felt… lighter? Somehow. Like revisiting his past in these few pages of dialogue and action had given him the chance to reflect on his life and where it had taken him. He’d never not be a former street kid and ex-junkie and an ex-hooker, but none of that defined him now.

He slid the doctored pages aside and let his forehead drop to the countertop.

“Hey,” Lee said, coming up behind him. His fingers curled gently over Tony’s nape, and his mouth dropped to Tony’s shoulder, pressing firmly. “You okay?” Lee asked?

Tony could feel the shape of the words against his skin even through the thin material of his T-shirt. “Yeah,” he agreed hastily, raising his head and scrubbing the back of his arm across his eyes in a hurried swipe. “Yeah, just… you know.”

Lee sighed, the breath tickling down Tony’s chest. “Actually, Tony, I don’t.”

Oh. Right. Lee wasn’t the one who’d been booted out of the house at fifteen for being a ‘fag’ and a ‘freak’. And Tony didn’t like to remind Lee that he’d spent a few of his formative years turning tricks for enough money to keep food in his belly and drugs in his veins.

Deflecting, he asked, “Do you think I’m overreacting? I mean, we’ve hit other topics that have been a little close to home and I’ve never freaked out like this. Hell, this season James is embracing the whole ‘secretly from a long line of druids’ twist the writers threw at him, and learning how to use magic. That’s _way_ more relevant.” Although, it was also so inaccurate as to be painful; something Tony wasn’t in any hurry to correct the writers about.

Lee’s hands slid forward, turning the contact into a full-on embrace. “I think you’re allowed to react however you need too, Tony.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Lee agreed. He kissed the crown of Tony’s head and then let him go, although he didn’t go far. He pulled up the stool next to Tony’s at the little island in the kitchen and scooched in close enough that their elbows touched. “C’mon,” he walked his fingers across the faux-marble and tapped them on the script pages.

“They’re never gonna keep all the changes,” Tony cautioned, even as he let the sheets be tugged away from him.

“Maybe,” Lee didn’t quite agree or disagree. He just flipped to the first page. “Maybe not. Let me just see how much you’ve made James sound a lot cooler than I actually am.”

~~~~~~~~~

Later, when Lee was curled up against Tony’s back again, this time the both of them naked and sweaty, Tony asked softly, “Does it bother you?”

Lee didn’t answer right away. When Tony risked looking over his shoulder it was to see Lee propping himself up on one elbow. He shifted further onto his back, so he could look Lee in the eye.

“Does it?” He asked again, hating the way his voice hitched slightly.

“Nope,” Lee shook his head, but he kept his green eyes locked on Tony’s face and that absolute surety never wavered. “I love you for who you are, Tony. Every single bit of you. And that include everything that’s ever happened to make you who you are.”

“Uhhh…”

They’d never said it before. Not like that. Not so matter-of-fact and so damn easy.

Lee’s expression did change then; a smirk pushed up the corners of his mouth. “C’mon,” he teased, although the faint lines around his eyes suggest he was nervous beneath the sly bravado. “Don’t leave me hanging.”

“Yeah,” Tony managed, his voice gone oddly squeaky. “I love you too.”

It should’ve been enough. And it was, almost.

Apparently, Lee could sense that ‘almost’. “But?”

Tony frowned. “No ‘buts’. I mean it. I love you. That’s it. Simple, factual declaration.”

“But,” Lee repeated.

Blowing out a sigh, Tony shrugged his shoulders into the sweat-damp sheets. “But, this is gonna come back and bite you in the ass, yanno.”

“Bite me in the ass?”

Realizing what he was implying, Tony spat out an urgent, “I mean, maybe. Someday. If you ever wanna… you know. Tell people.”

Ugh. He could kick himself. One thing Tony had promised himself was that he’d never push Lee regarding his coming out. To anyone; to his family, to the studio (although, their relationship was a half-assed secret there at best) or to his fans.

Lee didn’t seem to follow, if his puzzled frown was any indication. “Why would it bite me?”

Tony squirmed. He really didn’t want to have to spell it out. “You don’t think it’s gonna raise a few eyebrows

Lee’s eyeroll was less than reassuring. “No one will care, Tony.”

“They’ll care.”

“Fine,” Lee amended. “They’ll care if I come out. It’ll be news for all of twenty minutes on some cable news show and on a handful of websites. But, that’ll be the news. Me coming out. Not you.”

“For a guy who’s spent the last ten or so years in the film industry, you can be pretty naïve, you know that?”

“For a guy who’s about to get bit in the ass, you can get pretty cocky, you know.”

Tony frowned. That didn’t make any sense.

At least until Lee shoved him onto his belly, wriggled down the bed and set teeth to fleshy part of Tony’s right butt cheek.

“God, you’re lucky I love you,” Tony grumbled – he’d never admit to yelping – and then he twisted and squirmed and sought to pin Lee down to return the favor (or at least get teeth on another part of Lee’s anatomy).

Sneaking a pinch to Tony’s ribs, Lee said softly, “Yeah, I really am.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from 'Tiff Song' by Noah Reid


End file.
